The Messy Middle: Coaching Strategies for Navigating Big Transitions

fulcrumwellnesscoa
Aug 6
3 min read

Navigating through the fog with a compass.

Transitions are rarely neat. We often talk about beginnings and endings - starting a new job, ending a relationship, launching a business, or changing direction. But there’s a space between those milestones that doesn’t get as much attention: the messy middle.

It’s the part where you’ve left the old behind, but the new hasn’t fully taken shape yet. It’s uncomfortable, disorienting, and often filled with doubt.

At Fulcrum Wellness Coaching, we work with people who are right in the middle - not because they need fixing, but because they need support, clarity, and permission to move forward at their own pace.

Common Transitions That Trigger the “In-Between”

You might be navigating the messy middle if you're:

Finalizing a divorce but unsure what life on your own looks like
Burned out from a job that no longer fits, but unclear on your next move
Returning to work after caregiving or maternity leave
Starting over financially or emotionally after a major life disruption
Feeling stuck between who you were… and who you’re becoming

If any of that resonates, I want you to know this: you’re not behind - you’re just in the process.

According to researcher William Bridges, all transitions consist of three stages: an ending, the neutral zone (the messy middle), and a new beginning (Bridges, 2004). It’s the “neutral zone” where most people feel stuck, uncertain, and deeply uncomfortable - and where the most potential for growth exists.

A Coaching Framework for Moving Through the Middle

While every transition is different, we use a simple, empowering framework to help clients move forward with intention:

1. Identify

Name what’s happening internally. Transitions stir up stories like:

“I should be further along.” “This shouldn’t be so hard.” “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Self-awareness is the first step to change (Brown, 2018). When you can name what you’re feeling or fearing, you create space between you and the narrative.

Try this: Ask yourself, What story am I telling myself about this transition? Is it helpful—or is it holding me back?

2. Interrupt

Disrupt unhelpful thought patterns or habits that keep you stuck. This might mean slowing down when you feel the urge to overperform, noticing perfectionism or fear-based decisions, or interrupting critical self-talk.

This is where mindfulness or coaching tools can help. Practicing nonjudgmental awareness and intentionally pausing can help shift you from reactive to reflective (Kabat-Zinn, 1994).

Try this:

“What’s a gentler version of the story I’m telling myself right now?”

3. Intend

Once you’ve created space and clarity, you can choose your next right step—not a 5-year plan, just one aligned action that honors what you need right now.

Small, values-driven steps help rebuild momentum and self-trust (Clear, 2018). This is where transformation takes root - not in giant leaps, but in steady, thoughtful movement.

Try this:

“What is one small, meaningful step I can take this week to move forward with intention?”

It’s Okay to Be in the Middle of the Story

You don’t have to rush the process. The messy middle isn’t a detour - it’s the transformation itself.

Transitions may feel like breakdowns, but they are often breakthroughs in progress. Allowing yourself to slow down, get support, and move with intention will bring far more peace and clarity than trying to power through alone.

“When nothing is certain, anything is possible.”—Mandy Hale

If you’re navigating a major life transition and feel stuck in the fog, coaching can help you find clarity without forcing a quick fix. You deserve support that meets you where you are.

Ready for your next step? Book a free 20-minute Clarity Call and let’s talk about what’s possible.